Fathers, Families Would Rather See a Sermon Than Hear One

by Shane Idleman

Our ministry often receives email correspondence from desperate wives and mothers. They often read something like this, “I’m at a loss. My ‘Christian’ husband is verbally and physically abusive. Ironically, he thinks that I’m the problem; he sees no need to change. He’ll quote Scriptures about submission while yelling and cursing. His anger is also destroying our children. A home once filled with laughter and joy is now filled with fear and depression. We walk on eggshells and cherish the times when he is gone. He also loves his porn more than his family. I can no longer bear it. I’m not dying inside; I have died.”

We are in desperate need of genuine leadership—broken, humble men—men who are not afraid to admit that they need God; men who are more worried about prayer than about status and recognition; men who petition God rather than position themselves. The state of the family today is disheartening. Men have largely forsaken their God-given role as spiritual leaders in their homes…that, no one can deny. For example:

  • Bible reading and prayer are called fanatical while working twelve hours a day is called success.
  • We build our career and neglect our marriage.
  • Corporate executives are praised and family men frowned upon.
  • We’ve increased our wealth but decreased our values.
  • We search the heavens for answers and turn from the One who created them.
  • Pride is considered an asset and humility a liability.
  • We know more about our favorite athletes than our wives and our children.
  • We’d rather be seen leaving a bar than leaving a church.
  • We praise our favorite team yet fall asleep in church.

Men, you’re not called to be a passive, weak, indecisive partner—you’re called to protect, lead, and guard your family. You are to initiate prayer, defend your wife, shepherd your children, and make your home a holy sanctuary not a breeding ground for Satan. You’re called to fight the enemy, not flee from him.

I’m tired of weak, passive men who never contend, stand, or fight for anything worth dying for. Our nation is looking for character, our wives are looking for leaders, and our kids are looking for fathers.

Men, STOP the silly video games, get off of Facebook, kill your porn habit, tell your ungodly friends to hit the road. You’re called to lead, love, and die, if necessary, for your family.

We are the reason that the nation is deteriorating. We are the reason the family is breaking down. We must stop blaming everything from God to the government; we are the stench in the nostrils of a righteous, holy, pure God. Dads…wake up! Life is a battleground, not a playground!

I can hear it now, “Shane, you’re being too hard on the guys. Back off.” Really. Step into my world for a moment. Recall the email that opened this article. Sadly, this is not an isolated situation; it’s happening all the time. After re-reading it, you tell me if this message is too strong.

Men who are hurting their families don’t need to be encouraged and coddled; they often need to be confronted and challenged. Then encouragement can take place. Change is difficult if we always encourage but rarely challenge, and coddle but not confront. Unless a man is lovingly confronted, repentance will not take place, and his family will ultimately pay the price.

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SOURCE: Christian Headlines